PETA Seeks, Gets Injunction Against Band's Name

PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF ANIMALS (PETA) is broadening it's scope well beyond the usual suspects such as the fur industry and research centers that use animals in their testing. Far enough, in fact, to include those persons and groups who don't necessarily actively harm animals per se, but might lead individuals to think that they are helping them through their message or organization's name, thus misleading the public.
One such example is their February 19 Nevada County court approved injunction against the funk band ALO which stands for Animal Liberation Orchestra. As PETA spokesperson Caroline Stein said, "This was an easy issue to get behind. Just look at how quick the judge signed the order. These guys are running around, calling themselves 'liberators' so they can dupe well intentioned white hippies, who by the way, are far more affluent & bathed than what the masses might think, out of their money. Misrepresentation like this needs to be dealt with and I'm glad we've lit that torch." Asked whether they had evidence of animal exploitation or physical harm to them caused by the popular, but un-Grammy nominated group, she said, "Physically, no. But they might as well. They take this grandiose name, sell their cd's and there merchandise based on that 'oh so kind and courageous' moniker, as if they were some sort of saviors, just so they can laugh all the way to the bank."
Nobody was at the courthouse to represent the band. apparently they were out ripping off more bad dancers. Jack Johnson, longtime friend & collaborator of the band said that he had hinted of a possible problem when they were recording their last CD at his place in Hawaii. "Yes, I mentioned this to the boys, and there was even some tension throughout my neighborhood regarding this. I'm an artist, but I'm also a businessman, and I can't have this sort of thing around me. They were like, 'dude, chill'. I'm just glad somebody finally stepped up and did something. Maybe they'll actually start doing something positive for the cause. Until then, 'Caio'."
News hit the band hard, as did coming down off E from the night before. No comment from the members, but it is rumored that they will adopt a Spinal Tap song name as their temporary moniker("Big Bottom" leads "Lick My Love Pump" in a fans poll on their Facebook page) until a permanent name change can be thought up, or they get permission from the court to re-instate ALO from the judge, though the community service & arson required as part of their punishment might be more than these kids can handle. Bassist, Steve Adams was overheard saying that he was going back to Santa Barbara, re-enroll to get his Public Administration degree and try to put this shameful part of his life behind him.
PETA is next going to seek out anyone wearing an ALO shirt and throw acid on them so that this sort of tomfoolery does not continue.