Tipping Tiger

Tiger Woods will deliver a statement tomorrow about something. He'll apologize about that something, along with other things, that I don't really care about. He's the one who will forever have to fear his wife's wrath and his children's scorn. Not me. He's the one losing sponsor money. No company has ever expressed interest in me being their whore, and none ever will. He's so good at golf though, I might even go back to wanting to watch him destroy every field he's up against. My two other favorites won't ever rise up to keep my attention: Duval's back and psyche are too shot to come back long term; and Rocco, well Rocco will never amount to much more than Mr. Fun Guy on the tour. Heck, if Tiger can tear apart a certain fat lefty in his first couple of tournaments back, I might climb right back on that bus like I never got off.
There's really only one thing about the legend that is Woods that can never be undone. It's not the cheating (again, not my problem or care). Not the lying. I never paid enough attention to his life outside the game to have an opinion that could be shattered. I don't care if he's a nice guy or an asshole. I don't require character when I pick a horse to back. My role models are already retired or dead, and I'm not concerned about what the damn kids who did elevate him to that status think either. Their parents can shoulder that burden, or not.
Nope, the only thing that I will not forget or forgive might, in fact, just be hearsay. But the notion will linger just the same. You see, Tiger is a bad tipper. Or so it has been reported by a couple of sluts, I mean, women he doinked. To have someone actually think that of you crosses over into the unacceptable. The perception of being a bad tipper is enough, in my opinion. I can safely say that this is not true of me. If someone were to ever say that of me, it would be an outright lie and they could not, therefore truly mean it. It is nearly impossible to convince me that this is not true of Woods. Yet he will never address this accusation, even while gushing his heartfelt apologies to the poor family folk he's misled and the corporate barons he's misrepresented.
I've had service that was despicable at some places, but still tipped the minimum. I just made sure that person suffered via my mouthiness, or by being a pain in the ass some other way. That way, they get to earn a proper tip without otherwise deserving it. It's important to me to tip decent, if not very well, regardless of the quality of service rendered. In fact, from what I can gather, my tipping at buffets is up to the level of Tiger's tipping at a full service upscale restaurant. That is just pathetic. Short of him denouncing this accusation and having the whores, um, ladies in question recant their statements with proof that they did not ever mean it, I can find no way to let slide this egregious flaw in character. He might be able to tune out what the galleries are blurting in his back swings, but an accusation like 'bad tipper' I hope will gnaw on that brain forever.